I thought you were my fairy tale.
My dream when I’m not sleeping.

It’s true, meeting you was the greatest gift anyone could have.

At first it was just a joke, for me. Something you had made up for teasing people.

But you were truly a smart person, the way you said you aimed me, that made me smile, a lot.

I never really found myself being friendly to girls, let’s just say I had my times.

You changed me a lot though, thank you for that.

We shared happiness, laughter, smiles, everything!

Without knowing that you are hurt, deep down inside of you.

That was when I saw you crying, everyday! :’(

So now it’s my turn to flip things around.

I hold myself from being a monster.

Alhamdulillah, I can see your beautiful smile again.

Each day onwards, that smile slowly changed into laughter.

Creating something worth mentioning, happiness.

It makes me so glad to see you being so alive.

I just remembered something I once told you,

I won’t be with you forever though.

Looks like you can survive on your own now.

You a big girl now dear. :’)

Sorry for my past, present, and future mistakes.

Thanks for everything!

So maybe my last mission is to give you the pink pendrive.

Well, maybe~

Sincerely,

Jiji Yusof

Apa eh nak cakap.
Dalam hidup ni kau kena pandai bawa diri.
Kena pandai bergaul.
Kalau masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang harimau mengaum.
Pandai sesuaikan diri dengan keadaan sekeliling.
Tapi jangan terlampau leka pulak sampai tak sedar benda yang kau buat uh betul ke tak.
Maka pandu lah akalmu dengan iman!
Kerana tanpa iman akal boleh menipu dan dipengaruhi oleh nafsu.

Khaira******

Insya-Allah,
Thank you,
Really appreciate it!

It’s the 21th day of March. Students of Batch 95 are busy hoping for their best. Yes, the SPM result.

As the clock ticked bit by bit, I felt very nervous. What will happen, no one knows. The teacher listed the ones who got the highest rank. Seeing my friends walking up the stage, tears ran down my cheeks. That’s my friends up there! That’s the one who lived with me for the past 5 years together! But that tears aren’t the sign of happiness, it was the sign of depressed. So I went to my teacher to get my result. Carried by pray, I approahed my teacher. She smiled with a congrats to follow. I look at it and saw 3A’s. My heart stopped! Is this what I really deserve? So I phoned everyone I knew, with hopes to cool me down. Then one by one, my closest friends came to me, each one of them said they also got 3A’s. I thought it was to cheer me up. At first I didn’t even care! Slowly I started smiling. Then I laughed! Hey!!! I dreamed to change this world! Getting 3A really gonna let myself down?? Absolutely not! Never!!! They’re all felt very happy seeing me happy. I told them, starting from today, from this moment, let’s do our very best in life!!! So now I know, what it’s like being at the bottom. The very bottom! Only me, myself, can change that thought. I need to carry on my journey, as a muslim, a human, a writer and the one who will change this world! Losers aren’t real, but winners are!

To all the straight A’s, keep it up!!! To the others, let’s prove to the world who we really are! We are brilliant! We are all brilliant!

For some reason, I felt like this was planned. I mean really planned. I tasted a bit of the real life now and I wish to make it sweet. From tears to a big smile, thank you everyone! Thank you mom and dad! Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah!

On a normal working day, a woman told me one very interesting story. Maybe the story got twisted a bit, but anyhow, it’s still very deep.

A teen boy, who’s easily tempered asked his father for a solution. So his father came out with one way to cool his temper down, by giving him a box of nails and a hammer. “How can this help me dad?” his curiousity surrounded him. “Each time you are angry at someone, hammer this nail on our wooden gate” his father said. So he did what he’d been told, to fill the gate with nails, each for every issue. After a while, he succeeded, he did control his anger. Then he approach his father, “I finished cooling myself down, dad. What now?”. His father took back the nails and hammer, he then replied, “Now learn to forgive people, son. Each of the nails, pull them all out”. Later, he proceed the task his father gave him. Finally, he felt relieve by what he just did. He, now can manage his anger and also forgive people for doing something wrong to him. He walked to his father to thank him. “Don’t thank me yet son. Come.” his father told him to follow. “Look at that, what do you see on the gate?” the father asked. “Only holes, lots of holes dad” he answered. “Yes, there are a lot of holes right. You can control your anger, you could even learn to forgive people, but the pain people felt can never go away. It shall remains unless you fill it, with apologies and trust” his father explained. Now he realised, what he did, will affect what will happen in the future.

It’s true no one is perfect! Yet nobody said we can’t try to be one. Life teaches us a lot, directly or indirectly. Learn from them. Family, friends or even society, each tells a different story. Life will always be meaningless as long as we intent to make it that way. Just like the sea, some waves are small, some are big, it wouldn’t know which one will happen, but it will continue being a sea. Stay strong and keep on living our live!

A name I had not forgotten since the day we met. It wasn’t a formal introduction, but it was enough to make us close. From my gaze, I knew she was full of curiousity. Not only for her, rather for me to explore. A girl whom makes smiling becomes an excitement, worries become dusts and life becomes so meaningful. She seems so innocent. Like a newly born child, ready to take on the massive world of life. Despite having this wonderful gift, she kept a thousand secrets. Secrets no one would ever imagine. Life, love and friendship was brought to the test. Slowly her secrets were revealed one at a time, that was when I knew she needed help. The only question on my mind was, who is the real Julia? It’s been a long time since I was tested with a girl. Days became weeks, weeks became months, then something terrible had happened. I could no longer accept life, not just because of her, but because of myself. As pain and hatred slowly entered my mind, I lost my control. Thinking would be the least I can do. The girl whom I knew, started crying. Fear filled her eyes. The fear of dying, mentally dying from all of her problems. I didn’t do anything to help her. I was too weak. Until one day, when it all finally makes sense. Why we need a companion, why society even existed and why she was the only girl that haunts my mind. So I started to listen, patiently listen to all of her problems. Bit by bit, little by little, she told me everything. Yes, I couldn’t do anything to help her resolve her problems, but I made her stop crying. That was something I never did in my entire life. A lifeless boy who spend his whole life on a non-living environment, made a girl stop crying. Sometimes, we intent to argue with people who always post their problems. It’s true that this is a foolish act. But the thing is, we never did lend an ear for them. Then why argue? Humans are meant to live together, maybe not for long, but at that period of time, we learn something. Something that may change how we live. Whether if it’s just a friend, or even a stranger, we are linked together. For me, I’ve learn a lot. A lot more that I can ever imagine. I often wish that she and I would never be apart. But I know that it will never happen. She has her own destiny awaits her while I have a lot more journey ahead of me. Try not to wait for things to happen in life, trust me, it won’t. The phase ‘Happy ending’ never even existed, unless we reach for it ourselves. They say if you really love somone, you can let him or her go. It may be hard to let her go, but it’s for the best isn’t it. Maybe someday I will meet her, and by that time, I can’t wait to see the smile which changed my life.

-Jiji Yusof-